Since you are military, if your spouse has taken your HOR, then you can file joint and there may not be taxable income. Both VA and NC exempt the pay of a nonresident military spouse. You would only pay taxes to your HOR, if same state. See MSRRA: Military Spouses Residency Relief Act. If your wife is not a VA or NC resident, only there to be with you, then VA & NC do not take taxes.
VA Form 763-S should be filed for a refund, see 763-S 2021 - Virginia Tax.
NC for nonresident, see Frequently Asked Questions Regarding Military Spouses.
Not knowing which state is HOR and if for both of you, I would need more information to help you further.
@RKH-VA
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