You can use the Tax Withholding Estimator on the IRS web site to figure out what your husband should put on his federal W-4 form. It will take your self-employment income into account. This will take care of the federal tax.
Tax Withholding Estimator
For state tax, you will still have to pay New York tax on your self-employment income, but your husband's Connecticut employer will withhold only Connecticut tax, not New York tax. Since you will have no New York withholding, you will have to make estimated tax payments to New York. There is no way to cover your New York tax from your husband's Connecticut withholding.
