When you each have Self-only, you have Self-only, and the limit is $3,550 for each of you...but when either one of you has Family coverage, then you are both considered to have Family coverage (your actual Self-only coverage notwithstanding), so you two SHARE the $7,100 HSA contribution limit.
You two can allocate this $7,100 any way you like. If you need $4000, then you can allocate $4,000 of the Family coverage to you, leaving your spouse the remaining $3,100 to apply to your spouse's limit.
TurboTax does this allocation automatically - it's not something that you choose (i.e., you could if you were doing the return by hand, but you're not).
I am not sure how much to read into this, since you shouldn't be worrying about this anyway until you get to the end of your return...I am interested in hearing how it turns out...
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