We can't really give advice on this type of situation.
If you file as married filing separately, you may qualify for IBR on your own income alone. However, this will reduce or eliminate certain deductions and credits on your spouse's separate return compared to filing jointly, and may increase your taxes owed. IBR also delays repayment but the interest owed continues to grow.
You may also qualify for forbearance, or to refinance over a longer term. You may be able to refinance with a private student loan lender even if you don't qualify for federal assistance. But watch out for high interest rates and predatory lenders.
Any money you withdraw from an IRA or 401(k) will be subject to regular income tax plus a 10% penalty for early withdrawal. Paying a student loan is not an exception to the penalty. It should really be the last resort.
You may be able to borrow from your IRA or spouse's 401(k), and the interest rate might be lower or you might get a longer term to pay back the loan. (You can't borrow from your own 401(k) unless you still work for the employer.)
(**Incidentally, if you stopped working for the 401(k) plan sponsor, you might want to transfer that money to a private IRA. You will have more options for withdrawing or investing the money.)
Student loans are not dischargeable in bankruptcy, so that probably won't help you unless you have other debts that could be discharged, which would free up money for the loan payments.
You may need to consult a financial advisor in your area. Again, please be careful about predatory student loan lenders.
