Everything you describe favors filing as Married Filing Jointly (MFJ). Your real question seems to be how do you allocate the final tax bill (or refund) between you two. You'll have to do a separate calculations for that.
As other have suggested, your best way to do a separate returns calculations is with the download versions of TurboTax (TT). You can prepare an unlimited number of real or practice returns for the one TT fee. If you haven't filed yet, online, you can still switch to download.
Or you can use this tool to do comparisons for free. https://turbotax.intuit.com/tax-tools/calculators/taxcaster/?s=1
I suggest rather than comparing your MFJ return to two Married Filing Separately (MFS) returns, you compare the MFJ results to what it woulda been if you filed Single and he filed as Head of Household (HoH).
