Without provider information, you will not be able to efile and may have the credit disallowed. See About Form 2441, Child and Dependent Care Expenses which states: ....disallowed unless you can show you used due diligence in trying to get the required information.
This means you would need to write a letter explaining your efforts and providing as much information as possible about the provider.
I recommend that you talk to the provider once again and explain to them that you are writing the IRS a letter and giving them every piece of information you know about the provider. If the IRS finds them, it will be added to their income with penalties a few years later- so the penalties grow. The provider may change their mind if you have enough good information and decide to cooperate with you.
You might be willing to offer to help pay some of the tax on the money to get the information. Good luck and next time, get it all upfront.
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