IT: Hello, IT Department.
User: My computer is on fire.
IT: Have you tried restarting it?
User: No, really, my computer is on fire.
IT: Have you tried restarting in safe mode?
User: The room is filling with smoke.
IT: Try clearing your cache and cookies on each of your browsers, even the ones you don't use.
User: Now the drapes are on fire.
IT: Have you updated your operating system recently?
User: Now the ceiling is on fire.
IT: You may have to reinstall your operating system and all your applications. Remember to backup first.
User: I have to go now.
IT: Thanks for calling. Please hold for a survey.
