Use the Tax Withholding Estimator on the IRS web site to figure out what to put on your husband's W-4 form. It will show you how to adjust your withholding to get the approximate refund amount that you want.
You are not your husband's dependent. He cannot claim you as a dependent on his tax return, and should not count you as a dependent on his W-4. A spouse can never be a dependent. You just file jointly.
