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THANK YOU for your comment, but after checking, Windows says I'm up to date. I made it check anyway, and it came up with some optional INTEL updates that seem to be hardware issues. After shutting down, and restarting, restarting, restarting, still getting ERROR 42016.

My only hope is that it's updated enough to file, so I'm going to click "DO NOT TRY AGAIN" and hope upon hope that this TURKEY will let me file by Monday, or else I'm going to be mighty upset.