Marriage is bad for me financially

[taxneeds2022]

Hello, I am 58 years old and have a 17 year old child -- she has no father as I had her on my own.

Six years ago I got married.  He has two children in their 20s from a previous marriage.  All is good with us

a family but I took a tax hit when I went from single, head of household with one kid to married -- and we

file separately.  We do this because we decided not to mix our money - he leaves his extra money if any to his

kids, I leave mine to my kid.  We probably should not have even gotten married but we fell into the romance of it.

And that part is good.  Sadly though, keeping our money separate is getting hard now.  I recently lost my job

and live on my savings, which is fine for a while, until I work again (I will) but the worst part is college is coming

for my kid.  I want to apply for financial aid -- I'll be paying for it as much as i can, I have a bunch saved, but not

at all close to what it all costs (WOW) so I'll need aid.  But, now I'm worried as a married person they will request my

husbands taxes and they will impact what I can get as aid.  He is not paying anything towards my kids tuition. 
Since being unemployed we are on his medical, but that's new.  I own the house we live in and he gives me some money for bills

but that's it.  WE ARE SEPARATE financially.  
My question.  Should I get divorced -- LOL.  I know that's a crazy way to fix this, but I'm being screwed for getting married as I was

not thinking about the money part.  We both would be fine to do that ... we would stay together but not have this money burden
I don't want to be part of.  My house is going to be left to my kid, it's in our prenup -- just FYI.  Any tips?? Thanks, Rose

[SweetieJean]

We cannot answer family law questions here.   Please see an attorney.

[NCperson]

@taxneeds2022  the tax laws really motivate married couple filing joint.  There are simply too many tax benefits that are not afforded to those who choose to file Marrifed - Filing Separate and it appears you are experiencing that.  I;ve read that 96% of married couples file joint - because the tax laws motivate that behavior. 

[fanfare]

If you want to keep your finances separate then file joint and the two of you will have to negotiate the fraction of income tax that each owes to Uncle Sam.

This can be done by examining the tax return.

[Opus 17]

We can't answer if you should get divorced.  We can't answer questions about financial aid.

Your child is now your spouse's stepchild for all legal purposes including taxes, probably financial aid too, although I haven't looked into that in many years.

If you want to keep your finances as completely separate as you suggest, you may need to contact a legal advisor.  There are laws covering retirement accounts (IRAs, 401ks and pensions and so on) that may overrule what you think you can do with your assets if you pass away.  The spouses may have claims on the others' assets.  Your child may have a claim on their step-parent's assets, and you stepchildren may have a legal claim on yours, even if you don't want it that way.  These situations are far too complex for this forum.

You need relationship counseling and financial counseling that we can't provide.  

[Hal_Al]

You can still file amended returns for 2019, 2020 and 2021 to change your filing status to MFJ (Married Filing Jointly).

[Opus 17]

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@Hal_Al wrote:

You can still file amended returns for 2019, 2020 and 2021 to change your filing status to MFJ (Married Filing Jointly).

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That's a good point because it's possible to keep your finances largely separate but still file joint tax returns.  That would save some tax money. It still won't help you with college financial aid or your job loss. 

(One downside is that if you file joint returns and your spouse is less than honest with their finances, both spouses are equally responsible on a joint return but only one spouse is responsible on a separate return.  If your spouse is less than honest with the IRS, you have bigger problems.)

[Mike9241]

do note that you can not change to a joint return without your spouse's consent. to do so would be considered tax fraud. just as if you had filed originally without your spouse's consent.

[taxneeds2022]

Thanks so much for all the help!!!