How the hell do I actually talk to someone from turbotax??

[VolvoGirl]

Contact Customer Service 5am-5pm Pacific M-F https://support.turbotax.intuit.com/contact/  

or since you have the Live help Contract the rep

 How to connect to an expert in Turbo Tax Live M-F https://ttlc.intuit.com/replies/6382274 

[SweetieJean]

Support is closed for the weekend, but we can try to help you here

[Mistielou]

I have no idea I’m wondering the same thing