I am a qualifying widow, my spouse passed away 9/2016. I can't change my status, it keeps saying I'm married filing jointly.

[MinhT]

You have to file as Married for the year your spouse passed away.

For the two subsequent years, you are eligible to file as Qualifying Widow with dependent child if you satisfy the following tests:

• You were entitled to file a joint return with your spouse for the year your spouse died. It doesn't matter whether you actually filed a joint return.
• Your spouse died in 2016 and you didn't remarry before the end of 2017 or 2018.
• You have a child or stepchild for whom you can claim an exemption. This doesn't include a foster child.
• This child lived in your home all year, except for temporary absences.
  
• You paid more than half the cost of keeping up a home for the year.