It is a question of facts and circumstances.
First, the choir must be a qualified organization, that is, it has been designated by the IRS as a non-profit and have an educational or artistic mission.
Second, for a choir member to deduct the expenses, the choir member must spend most of his/her available time performing the duties of a choir member - like rehearsing, actually singing, performing choir duties (like cleaning or repairing the outfits) and traveling to the next venue.
That is, no deduction is allowed “unless there is no significant element of personal pleasure, recreation, or vacation in such travel.” You may need to keep a log to show that your spouse was busy all the time and not taking days off to sight see. Do the log hour by hour. Then compare the number of hours available for sightseeing to the number of hours applied to the mission. If your spouse had more hours for sightseeing than singing and rehearsing, then the deduction would be disallowed by the IRS.
This was shown in Field v. Commissioner, Tax Court Summary Opinion 2005-184.
As for you, the same test would apply. Were you helping the choir's core mission, or were you just along for the ride? Unless you were a critical part of the mission in driving or hauling stuff around, any deduction by you would likely be disallowed, as you expect.
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