The IRS requires that both spouses need to check family if either has a family HDHP. From IRS link below.
'Rules for married people. If either spouse has family HDHP coverage, both spouses are treated as having family HDHP coverage. If each spouse has family coverage under a separate plan, the contribution limit for 2016 is $6,750.'
https://www.irs.gov/publications/p969/ar02.html
https://support.tangohealth.com/hc/en-us/articles/204143614-Rules-and-Best-Practices-when-Spouses-ar...
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