1) If married and living together, you can Not claim HOH. It's either Married Joint, or Married Separate for both.
2) If you want a refund on your Joint return, you should each claim 'Married, but withhold at higher single rate', and max of two exemptions.

Ok. So how do i complete the W4. Under personal allowances we both put nothing and then on the bottom of the form check married but withhold at higher single rate? What do you mean by max two exemptions?

...he meant, don't use more than two allowances....on line 5 of the actual W-4 form.

putting a zero under total allowances (line 5) is OK, but may withhold more than you intend if you are submitting new W-4 forms to both employers.

 IF you are doing this on only one of your W-4 forms, a zero is OK.  IF you are submitting a new W-4 to both employers...perhaps a "1" on both (on line 5) will split the difference.  

Remember that it will only be affect your withholding for  for the remainder of the year.  (And, you need to pay attention to your paystubs to ensure the change was implemented...when you submit...ask payroll/HR about which paycheck they think it will start)

When you file early  next year, you can check out your refund situation and re-adjust at that time.

Ok thanks. What about my dependents? We have 2 children.

The more exemptions you claim then lower the withholding and less refund - the fewer exemptions the higher the withholding and more refund.    The refund is getting your own over-withheld money back - essentially an enforced saving plan that pays no interest, rather than having the money in your pocked when you earn it and not give it to the government to keep it for you interest free.

Opinion:  Trying to get the W-4 set perfectly is a moving target....and unlikely to be set perfectly the first year.

When Rainman12 suggested  using no more than 2 allowances...(He might correct my assumption) but he referred to line 5 on the W-4.  That's considering everyone in your family including the 2 kids.

Unless you have a ton of other income  (Self-employment/cash, interest, Dividends, significant capital gains) then using the married but single rate, and 2 allowances should give you some refund...using a 1 would be more...but really, we can't know your total income and deduction situation for the year.

Start with the married but single rate, and 1 or 2 allowances on line 5 of the W-4, then re-adjust next year (if needed) when you file your tax return for 2017 and determine whether too much, or too little was withheld from your combined pay during the year.

Just confirming: Yes, I meant no more than two Allowances per working parent, and yes, that was in consideration of children in return. Similar results would be had by having one parent claim 1 or 0 (Allowances), other parent claim 3 or 4. Agree with all other comments as above; my objective was equal sharing of near equal incomes/responsibilities.

First, if you and your husband live together, he cannot be Head of Household.  You file a joint return.  By filing as “Married Filing Jointly” you will each get the $4050 personal exemptions and the standard deduction of $12,600 for a married couple.

You can file a joint return even if one of the spouses had little or no income.

You can try the W-4 calculator:

https://turbotax.intuit.com/tax-tools/calculators/w4/