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The IRS does not allow you to change from filing a joint return to a filing status of married filing separately after the filing deadline, so you want your spouse to do something the IRS does not allow. If you are divorced by the end of 2022, then for your next tax return you can file as Head of Household if you are the custodial parent of the children. As for the 2021 joint return you filed, you got a higher standard deduction for filing that way than you would have gotten if you had filed HOH, so less of your income was taxable by filing joint. Did you already send in the amended return---or have you not filed it yet?
If you already filed your amended return, the IRS will reject it because you are trying to change from joint to an individual return after the filing deadline. Because of IRS backlogs, it's taking 5 months or more for amended returns to be processed, so you probably won't hear from them for a while.
If you have not filed your amended return, don't file it, because you can't change from joint to head of household now.
In either case, there's nothing that you or your husband can do about it now. So don't do anything. You can't change your 2021 filing status. Just wait and see where you stand at the end of 2022. And investigate your filing options carefully before you file for 2022.
@rjs - you can change the filing status; you just can't change from MFJ to MFS after the filing deadline. You can change the filing status from MFJ to MFS, but is has to be done before the filing deadline
from the IRS website:
https://www.irs.gov/newsroom/if-you-must-amend-your-return
"You should amend your return if you reported certain items incorrectly on the original return, such as filing status, dependents, total income, deductions or credits".
You cannot change from MFJ to any other filing status after the due date.
IRS Publication 501, page 8, says:
"Once you file a joint return, you can't choose to file separate returns for that year after the due date of the return."
When the IRS says "separate" returns they mean anything other than married filing jointly, not necessarily married filing separately. A return filed as single, head of household, etc. is a "separate" return. If they meant specifically married filing separately, they would say married filing separately.
On the same page in Pub. 501 it says:
"A separate return includes a return filed by you or your spouse claiming married filing separately, single, or head of household filing status."
"A separate return includes a return claiming married filing separately, single, or head of household filing status."
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